Here, Let Me Push You!

Wow, it's been almost a year since I posted anything.  Yikes.  Alright, here it goes...

My church has been going this series titled "The Worst Friend Ever".  While you might think it's all about having a bad friend, or what to do with bad friends, it's really about asking yourself if you ARE the bad friend!  The series was, I believe, on week #4 today, and the message brought this morning is really resonating in my heart.

Our pastor likes to use props and demonstrations to get his point across, and he's very conversational in his "preaching", which I love.  He's talking with us, not at us, or down to us.  It's refreshing.  This morning he asked for a volunteer.  The man got up on stage, and Pastor Linn explains to him that he's going to push him in a direction, and wanted the man to resist him.  The prop at the other end of this was a cross.  It was to illustrate, a friend pushing the other friend towards the cross, towards Jesus.

The whole point this morning was that we, as Christians, need to surround ourselves with people who will push/nudge/guide/nurture us towards Jesus, and asking ourselves if we have and are those kinds of friends.  My immediate reaction was yes, I do have those kinds of friends!  I have this amazing support system, this community of believers who speak truth into my life, who challenge my thinking and my heart, to follow God in everything I do.  And we walk this way together, not because we are better, smarter, or holier than anyone else, but because we are called to be this in each others' lives.  We are called to edify, encourage and support each other.

I, of course, have friends that are not "of my faith", and therefore don't necessarily point me in the direction of God.  Am I any less whole for having these people in my life?  No, because they offer a perspective that my Christian friends can't.  They challenge my thinking, my beliefs, and my faith.  They test me, maybe even criticize me at times.  As our pastor put it this morning, they "drain me".  The "draining" process can be both good and bad, and I better make sure I have people there ready to help fill me back up again.  (The friends that point me right back to God.)

It got me thinking though.  If you're pushing a friend towards Jesus, that means they're either resisting, or they're walking the opposite direction, because you're having to push.  If you were just walking alongside them, in the same direction, no action would be necessary.  So, how does it go for you when you're pushing someone the opposite direction?  You meet resistance.  How does that translate into friendship?  Do you love silently?  In other words, do you not say something or do something you know you should, to help your friend, because you're worried about it "ruining" the relationship, or causing friction?  Or do you face the fact that it might make things awkward, it might get really uncomfortable, that person might reject you, hate you, walk away completely from you, and do what's right in love for this person?  Tough decision.

I was having a discussion with a man in our singles group after coming out of this service.  He hadn't been yet, so he was unaware of the message.  We were talking about how sometimes people say, "Oh, all I need is God.  I don't need people in my life to fulfill me."  Seriously?  God created us to live with people, to be in community.  We are the essence of God in people's lives.  God can't hug you, deliver food to your house when you've got so much going on you can't think about planning meals.  He can't loan you a car, run to your aid when you're in trouble.  But His people can!

So, why do people say that God is all I need, and I'm just fine without friends or people in my life?  I mean, I get it.  I get that God can supply our every need.  But He does that in so many ways.  One is through people.  I honestly think that the main reason we want to retreat to a world less people is because it's freakin' hard to deal with people!!

Relationships are it.  It's like the thing that makes the world go 'round.  But we're flawed humans!!  We screw up ALL the time!!  We do and say hurtful things to each other every day, and have to apologize, forgive, move on and deal, all while balancing the consequences of what we do with learning to forgive ourselves, accept forgiveness, still knowing that we're going to jack things up again the very next day.  It's a mess!!  We try, we really do.  But honestly, we're just plain and simple flawed.  It's these flaws in ourselves and in others that make living in a community so hard.  It's humbling, scary, and flat out annoying knowing that no matter how hard we try, we're still going to fail someone or ourselves, in some way(s).  Wouldn't it be grand if we were all perfect?!  Some say yes, most say no.  The jury's still out. :)

All I'm saying is, I have friends in my life that when the going gets tough they offer one-liners and "that's too bad's", or "you should try meditation or yoga", and then I have other friends that point me to Jesus and say, "Go ask for wisdom, forgiveness and grace, because he's the only one big enough to give it, and he's the only one who's never going to fail you."  And while sometimes I Really hate hearing that, and want to tell them to "buzz off and just feel sorry for me for once", I know they're right.

They might be pushing me towards Jesus against my stubborn will, but at least they're pushing me in the right direction!!

And if that doesn't work, there are always the proverbial 2 x 4's upside the head.

I was challenged this morning to look at myself AS a friend.  Am I being That friend?  Am I joining God in what He's doing in the lives of my friends?  Am I helping them stay on that path?  Am I showing love at all costs?
And what about my friends?  Am I surrounding myself with people who are guiding me back to Jesus?  Are my friends filling me, or draining me?

Can't wait for next week's challenge in "The Worst Friend Ever" series!