I haven’t written anything on this blog for…way too long. I’m not even sure how long. Two months almost my blogger tracker tells me! I just know it’s been a long time, and I have felt it! For a single girl I should have all the time in the world, right? Right.
My life is always a little crazy. I always have something going on, sometimes multiple things. I try to take it all in stride, but sometimes that doesn’t happen. And most of the time, I always end up cutting someone or something out that’s important to me. It’s inevitable. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything. But I hate it, because everyone I love, I love, and everything I do (for the most part) I really enjoy doing. So, what gives?
In the last three weeks, my life literally took a 180, and I have ended up a substitute parent to my 15-year old cousin…again. She was here about a year and-a-half ago for about 5 months. It’s a bunch of family stuff I won’t get into, but it was a chance for her to be away from her life, and the issues that were happening around her. It was incredibly hard, and incredibly rewarding during this time, as she not only survived, but thrived during her time here.
After being back home since then, she once again requested to come back. This time, circumstances were a little bit different, but the whole situation was like deja vu. Literally the time between her bringing up coming back, to the time she arrived, was about 12 days. The necessity came because of school starting so early here in Arizona. We knew she would need time to get acclimated again before starting school, so it was another rush job in getting her here.
So here she came, with two suitcases, 5 more boxes in the mail, and anxious expectations about the next 4 years of her stay here. In the meantime, my bedroom was rearranged to make room for another twin bed, I got rid of some more stuff to make some space for her things, and we have put a dresser for her clothes in our dining room. We’re making use of every inch of space in our two-bedroom apartment, for a third person. She has what she needs and so do we, so the space crunch is just a little hiccup in the plan.
When moving into this two-bedroom, we ("we", as in my sister and I) got rid of all of her stuff, not expecting that she would be back. Now, here we are 5 months into our lease, with no 3-bedroom option available, with none of her stuff, and left with the decision to do a quick move, or to put up with the lack of space until the lease ends next year. We chose the latter.
Hello. I am now a substitute parent for the next 4 years. I’m currently sharing my bedroom with a 15-year old, and have spent the last three weeks preparing for her arriving, preparing her for school beginning this week, cooking meals, cleaning, running errands, furnishing a room, moving her in, building Ikea furniture, and trying hard to get 8 hours of sleep a night. Oh, AND I started a new job last week, with a completely different schedule. So...yah, about that.
Writing has just seemed to take a back burner. Honestly, I love writing, but I have been getting writer’s block for a while now, since my last post. I have about 5 posts written, all unfinished. They’re about halfway completed. I get to this point while writing them, and then…nothing. I can’t seem to finish the story.
I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about butterflies lately. Relating my life to them, feeling somehow resembled to them. And that has had me wondering why. I’ll writing on this topic soon. It’s one of my unfinished projects. Hah.
With becoming a guardian, and parenting a 15-year old, I’m sure I will have many stories to share, and they may not all be related to singleness. The blog name is staying the same for now, but this journey is anything but focused on being alone. I may feel alone many times, but I am never really alone. Few of us rarely are.
Now I just have to find a way to get past this writer’s block, and finish the works I’ve started. I could write all day, but I have a job, have a kid to take care of, and have to get out of my house sometimes too. I have enough inspiration to keep me going forever, but time is something I haven't learned to stretch.
The other day I got to listen for almost an hour and-a-half, while the teenager pulled out every single item of make-up she owns, told me where she got it from, how much it cost, and if she liked it or not and why. I was laughing on the inside, but she needed my attention. Even though it seemed ridiculous, and I had to ask her to speed up her presentation a few times, it still meant something to her that I was watching and listening. My summation of the make-up presentation, however, is that she “loves” about 5 different lipsticks, and has more eye shadow than a room full of drag queens. I don’t know how one person could use all that, but then again, I’m not a teenager anymore.
Thank god for that!! :)
Blessings!
