Three Years Later...

I'm sitting here with stacks of paperwork on my coffee table, just finishing some homework, and almost ready for bed. It seemed like a great time to...you know...start blogging again. I mean, why not? It's only been three years.

Three years, people. Do you know how much has happened in the last three years? Probably not. That's okay. You don't need to know everything. This isn't a tell-all.

Or, is it?

It is titled "my life in a blog". Scanning through my past blog titles, it's obvious I have a flare for the random, and the dramatic. Let's face it. I love to tell stories. In person, I often use my hands, expressions, and various tones to get my point across. It's quite entertaining...to me at least. I have spent the better part of my life realizing that it doesn't really make sense to anyone, including me, and I'm actually okay with that. It keeps things interesting, fun, and adventurous! 

As for my future, I really have no idea...still. I'm okay with that too. I much prefer to talk about my present. As all of my writing goes, it comes from real life. I write easier than I speak. What comes naturally to my fingers, often gets tangled up in my brain when I try to speak it, because in the moment, I have no edit button, no way to backspace, no way to preview before posting. Am I about to offend someone? Am I being too blunt? Should I speak now, or later? Is this the right thing to say? The right way? Should I start out with a joke? It's all too much in the moment sometimes.

Some say the best writers are avid readers. I don't read well at all. It's not that I can't. I'm just slow, and it takes me a few times reading the same lines to totally ingest what I read. The best way for me to read is by having Karen (the Australian computer voice) read textbooks to me, or by listening to my Audible books. Ironically, the girl who has an easier time speaking her words, needs others to speak them to her. Hah!

My latest book is a re-read of one I have read in paperback, a few times. "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldridge is one of my favorite books. It is written for women by a woman, and it speaks to my heart in ways that no other book has. "Am I lovely"? "Do I captivate you?" These questions start and remain the question a woman's heart longs for answers to, throughout her life. 

While one might think these answers need to come from a man, as the book points out, that is the exact opposite place we women should be seeking them from. A man can definitely help, but seeking your heart's answer from a man is like ordering fish at a steakhouse. It's not their specialty, it's not why they're there, and usually it's not that great. For men, it's the same thing. Their heart's question cannot be answered by any woman. Their question is different. "Do I have what it takes"? 

In this age of equality, we sometimes forget that we are uniquely, wonderfully made, with purpose and design. We are not the same, nor will we ever be. There is no one exactly like you in the history, present or future of mankind. That's pretty incredible! And yet, in this brilliance of understanding our uniqueness, we also long for connection and relationships. We are not meant to be alone. I don't necessarily mean in the partner sense, but I truly believe that "it's not good for man to be alone" is as true today as it was on the 6th day of creation.

It's these relationships that I wish to explore, strengthen and breathe life into. As I finish up school and look forward to many great things happening this year, I also allow myself the "purging" of things not meant for me anymore. This act of release creates space for other things...good things...things I need in order to grow into the next part of my life.

I hope to be on here blogging more frequently. It's my cathartic expression, and my labor of love, to pour over the details of my life, and find nuggets of truth and inspiration to share. I also love sarcasm, and still share stories of online dating disasters. There's plenty more where that came from, so stay tuned!

Cheers to an amazing year ahead, Friends! 
Marci